“Kurt Cobain Was A Funny Guy.” Krist Novoselic, bassist of Nirvana

Everyone has many monumental first events that they’ll remember for the rest of their lives; first day of school, first kiss, first love, first time flying, etc. A first that I will always remember for the rest of my life is the first time I listened to Nirvana. I was in the 7th grade and my mom had picked me up from school. She was playing music in the car and said something along the lines of “Oh there’s this band that I really used to like in high school that I think you’ll really like, they’re called Nirvana.” She then proceeded to play their infamous song, “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” and the rest is history. I remember when she first played it and I told her I really liked it, like really liked it. She then proceeded to play the other Nirvana songs on her phone; those songs being All Apologies, Heart-Shaped Box, Rape Me, Lithium, Come As You Are, and About a Girl. I remember listening to all of these songs thinking, oh my god what is this. I was so mind blown by every aspect of this band. After that, I would listen to them from time to time and look up things about them. I remember becoming aware of Kurt Cobain and being so intrigued by him as an artist and person too. To many people, Kurt is this mythical creature, kind of like this higher mysterious being in a sense that none of us really know anything about him. I believe that’s what makes the idea of him and him as an artist so intriguing. As admirers of Kurt’s artistry through his songwriting, we were allowed to see his struggles and thoughts. Many of these struggles are relatable and listening to someone with so much emotion in his voice is oddly comforting in a way. I believe that this is the ultimate reason as to why Nirvana appealed to such a large audience. They were relatable in all aspects, they looked like normal people, didn’t promote a rockstar lifestyle that wasn’t attainable, and specifically they represented people that didn’t belong, this community of outkasts. Thats the beautiful thing about Nirvana; “Nirvana didn’t come to the mainstream, the mainstream came to Nirvana.”-Krist Novoselic, bassist of Nirvana.

I believe there always comes a time in a Nirvana fan’s life where they finally get it; they understand and relate to the lyrics. That time in my life was high school. I was in a really dark place towards the middle-end of my junior year of high school. My head wasn’t all the way there and I just felt incapable of expressing and processing my emotions. I never had anything to relate these feelings of emptiness and loneliness back to. I couldn’t understand how I felt and why I was feeling this way too. I remember during this time music was the only thing that was bringing me any sort of emotional comfort. One time I was listening to my music on shuffle and a Nirvana song came on, that song was “All Apologies.” I remember hearing the iconic opening riff and for someone it made me really emotional. There’s just something about that riff that reminds me of the adolescence of being a preteen, how there’s no responsibility that comes with that age and you’re allowed to be a kid for one last time. While listening to the song, I always remember Kurt singing, “I wish I was like you/Easily amused.” That stuck with me. I feel like that’s why I connect this song with my adolescence, because I still wish I could be like that version of myself, the version of myself where I didn’t have a care in the world. That’s magic in what Kurt does with his songwriting. These songs mean something completely different to everybody, and I think that’s why Nirvana means so much to so many people.

Kurt had this talent that was irreplaceable. He could just write these songs, after songs, after songs that were so simple yet amazing. I also think he is incredibly underrated as a guitarist as well. Many people discredit his guitar playing because he wasn’t this virtuoso of a player, however, I think his ability to create riffs that were somewhat melodic yet distorted/crunchy at the same time is really beautiful. The perfect example of this would be songs like “About a Girl,” “Drain You,” “Pennyroyal Tea,” “Sappy,” and “Been a Son.” He also had these concepts for songs that were absolutely brilliant and showcased his true talent of being a lyricist. Three songs that I believe show his true genius would be “Polly,” “Rape Me,” and “Been a Son.” I remember listening to “Polly” for the first time and thinking, ok this is a cool song, however I can’t tell if it’s actually about a bird or something else. When I found out the true meaning of the song I was incredibly disturbed but then I realized that conceptually, it’s actually a really interesting song. Nirvana’s track, “Polly,” is about a young girl who was kidnapped and was being held hostage by a man who was torturing her. However, this song is written from the perspective of the torturer. I thought this was one of the most genius things ever and it boggled my mind for the longest time because of how he was able to put himself in the mindset of the torturer. “Rape Me,” is probably Nirvana’s most controversial song. After “Polly” was released on their sophomore release, Nevermind, Kurt had become almost frustrated at the fact that people had not understood the story of the song and its actual meaning. The result of his fruatratipn was him writing the song “Rape Me,” which would appear on their final studio album, In Utero. Kurt wrote this song with a more upfront and honest approach to grab people’s attention. He wrote this song from the perspective of the person who is being raped. The lyrics, “Rape me/Rape me my friend/Rape me again” are him trying to bring awareness to this issue. These lyrics are supposed to portray the person that was being raped talking to their rapist. Essentially, their saying go ahead, rape me, eventhough you’re “my friend,” I know you’re still going to do it again and that I won’t be the last person you do it to, but in the end I’ll survive. He wrote this as an anti-rape anthem to educated people about this issue. However, many different places banned the song because of its outrageous title. Lastly, the song “Been a Son,” in my opinion, is one of Nirvana’s most symbolic songs. The entirety of this song is explaining how this girl's life would’ve been way better if she was a boy; been a son. I think that Kurt wrote this song trying to educate people about the inequalities that women face throughout their daily lives. Looking back on these songs, Kurt and the rest of Nirvana were super progressive and vocal about major issues regarding race, sexuaility, and gender; being able to see these young white men do that in the public eye truly makes me happy to see that they truly had strong opinions on these issues and weren’t doing it for any sort of clout. They constantly stood up for people that didn’t benefit in the world because they came from that crowd; they used their platform to lift up the people that weren’t able to have it.

“If any of you in any way hate homosexuals, people of different color, or women, please do this one favor for us—leave us the fuck alone! Don't come to our shows and don't buy our records.” -Kurt Cobain, 1992

As I reach the end of this post, I wanted to talk about who Kurt is to myself. I look at Kurt as this platonic figure in my life, someone who I heavily relate to. Whenever I watch a live set, interview, listen to his music, read about him, etc, I find comfort in seeing that he was just a regular person. He made himself so vulnerable for the consumers of his music that truly related to him; this vulnerability has helped me in so many ways, it would be impossible to list all of them. I wish I could just thank him for the music and talk to him about music, I feel like it would be a nice conversation. With that being said, I feel like I’m going to end it here. I could talk about Kurt for hours upon end, but I just wanted to finish it off and say, we miss you Kurt, I miss you, the World misses you <3

Attached is a playlist of songs by Nirvana and Kurt that I believe are essential to understanding the genius and true artist that is Kurt Cobain.

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7HmxHFFoT8Ox3dxZaaIjF0?si=c2ayX4yWSKGhFlxgRvjnxA